Amanda and I had followed God’s call to plant a church in Indianapolis, Resonate Church, exactly four years before – yet national news outlets were now broadcasting our family‘s tragedy. As shock morphed into overwhelming grief, I stepped with my toddler son Weston into an uncertain future without Amanda.

Over the past nine years, God’s mercies have been new every morning. And one of the greatest mercies goes by the name of Kristi.

It was late 2016, almost a full year since Amanda had passed away, and I had just started writing a book – a memoir. I had asked God to help me see his hand of redemption in my story, and the process of putting emotions and memories to paper was bringing me a lot of healing. I even found myself wondering if I was healthy enough for God to bring love my way again. The odds were not in my favor – my current life would require a truly unique woman, one who loved God, loved my son Weston, loved me, loved our church, and even loved Amanda. I left the idea in God’s hands.

That evening, after a twelve-hour day of writing, I headed to the gym to decompress. The owner of the gym had kindly given me a key so I could break a little sweat at odd hours when I wasn’t writing. That night I arrived just as the last class of the evening was finishing up. As providence would have it, Kristi was in that class.

I had noticed Kristi at the gym and around church over the last few months, but we hadn’t exchanged more than a dozen words. She had caught my attention from day one, but she seemed to be avoiding me like the plague. I decided this was the moment, so I worked up the courage to engage in conversation.

“Hey!” I said, trying (to no avail) to play it cool. “You’ve been coming to Resonate church for like four months now, and I know almost nothing about you.” And, to keep it pastoral, I added, “What’s your story? How did you come to know the Lord?”

For the next thirty minutes, we stood there as she regaled me on her upbringing and past. Out of all that she shared,

I homed in on the four years she spent studying abroad and on the mission fields in Mexico, Cambodia, and Brazil. “So that’s why you’ve been serving in Resonate’s inner-city project,” I commented. “You have a heart for missions.”

“Yeah,” she said with some hesitation, “but also my family lives in that area.”

“Wait, by choice?” I blurted out, thinking of the crime rate in that part of the city.

“Yeah.” She kept her poise. “My stepdad and mom feel called to that area as their life’s ministry. That was one reason I chose to attend Resonate. The church’s ForIndy initiative in the inner city? It’s the kind of work our family has prayed to see for years.”

“Wow. That’s amazing!” I said. “Amanda and I used to pray for that neighborhood when we ran by while training for half marathons. Ever since Amanda passed, I’ve felt this huge burden for that area of the city. Much of what we do as a church has come out of our story and the burden it’s placed on me.”

“I’m connected  to your story in some other ways,” Kristi said, “but I don’t think you’ll want me to tell you that.” She shuffled her feet a little and looked around the room.

“What is it?” I was intrigued and a little apprehensive, especially at how awkward she had suddenly become.

“Well. Um. Davey, my stepdad is a chaplain for the Marion County prison system.” She paused to let what she said set in for a second. “And he has regular conversations with the men that killed Amanda.”

I felt all the blood rush out of my face and the room began to spin. “What?!” I was dumbfounded. What are you doing, God? The girl I’ve been interested in already has a close connection with my story? I was at the gym to decompress after a long day – the same day I had asked the Lord to show me the redemption in my story. And Kristi tells me this?

Fast forward through several months of dating, and we were ready to see how our families felt about this: hers, mine, and Amanda’s. We spent a week with Amanda’s family in Elkhart, Indiana, followed by a week with my family in North Carolina. Kristi’s family was in Indy, so we’d already had some time to talk with them. We knew those two weeks were make-or-break for us. We returned to Indy reassured and started talking about a future together.

On November 8, 2017, almost exactly two years after Amanda’s death, I got down on one knee and asked Kristi to be my wife.

It was important to Kristi that we have a small, private, and quiet wedding. You see, although she had a very loving an

d involved stepdad, her biological father hadn’t been in her life for years. Because he struggled with

serious mental illness, Kristi had often feared for her safety. She hadn’t seen her birthfather since he walked out on the family years ago, but the thought of being walked down a wedding aisle touched more than a few childhood wounds.

Meanwhile, I was aware that dozens of people had been personally involved in my journey, both with Amanda and sinc

e her passing. I couldn’t imagine not having those people present as we celebrated this new chapter of life together. Suddenly a message I had received earlier from the Lord came to mind: My redemption story would usher in Kristi’s as well. I convinced her to go through with a bigger wedding and asked her to trust me with the “walking down the aisle” part.

On a chilly, rainy, magical December day in 2017, we gathered friends and family in a castle – well, a local venue that looked like a castle. Although almost nothing in our stories looked like a fairy tale up to the point, we felt like we were living one that day.

I stood at the front with Brad Cooper, who was officiating the wedding, and waited for the doors to open, knowing that what was about to ensue would have us all in tears. I shifted nervously, hoping that everything would go as planned.

“Claire de Lune” began playing softly. The doors swung open, and everyone stood to their feet. There she was, standing alone, a magnificent beauty, delicately resplendent in a fashionable white gown with lace sleeves, clutching a bouquet of snowy flowers.

I could see the hesitation on Kristi’s face as she began to step forward. Her beloved stepfather, Lee, immediately eased out of the back row to meet her. She smiled and accepted his arm as she walked toward me. About one-third of the way down the aisle, Lee stopped walking and Kristi froze with him. He leaned over, kissed her on the cheek, and whispered in her ear, “This is where I leave you.” Stunned and unsure what to do next, she looked up at me.

At the same moment, Amanda’s father, Phil, stood up and gently took Kristi’s arm. You could almost feel the entire room gasp as people held back tears. Phil walked Kristi the next third of the way until, right on cue, my own father got up from his seat.

My dad escorted Kristi the last few steps until she stood directly in front of me, in all her radiance, and Brad asked, “Who gives this bride to be with this groom?”

“We do,” the three declared in unison from behind Kristi.

It was a storybook moment, and it wasn’t lost on either of us. Tears filled both of our eyes as we looked at each other, two broken puzzle pieces about to fit and stitch our crazy lives together to display to the world a picture of God’s redemption—an unordinary family.

Davey Blackburn is the founder of Nothing is Wasted Ministries which creates resources for those facing trauma, tragedy, and loss. He is the author of Nothing is Wasted: A True Story of Hope, Forgiveness, and Finding Purpose in Pain (July 2024). Davey and Kristi live in Indianapolis with their three kids, Natalia, Weston, and Cohen. Find resources at www.NothingIsWasted.com.

Friend, we hope this encourages you that God is not done writing your story. He can bring redemption and healing into any part of your life!

You can read more of Davey’s inspiring story in his book- Nothing is Wasted: A True Story of Hope, Forgiveness, and Finding Purpose in Pain. 

The post Nothing is Wasted first appeared on Live Original.

Way before we were “that Duck Dynasty family,” we were just Phil and Miss Kay, a couple of teenagers in love. Then came 10 years of Phil doing almost every terrible thing under the sun. He drank like a fish, he didn’t come home at night, and I was left to raise our three boys and keep a roof over our heads. Everyone I knew told me to leave him.

But our story didn’t end there. 

After a decade of living inside a nightmare, Phil finally let God into his heart, and our lives changed forever. We always joked about what a good movie it would make, but we never thought it might really happen. 

If you know the Robertson family, you may have heard some of the story. In our movie, The Blind, we didn’t hold anything back about how we fell in love and how hard those early years of marriage were. Phil was drinking all the time and mean as a snake most days. He didn’t care much for me or the boys. He even thought running a bar would be a great business opportunity for our family. That right there shows you how out of his mind he was back then!

I know a lot of women will see parts of their stories in this movie. I pray that when they see The Blind, they see hope for themselves. 

When the Lord gives us a story, he gives us the strength to tell it. Jesus tells us that when we’re healed, we should tell others “how much God has done for you” (Luke 8:39), so that’s what I did.  I hope my story will show everyone that things can get better. People really can change. 

I’ve seen firsthand the way God can turn lives around. I want the women out there who are hurting because their husbands are hurting to know that there’s always hope in Jesus. I want the men to know they can become the husband, the father, and the man God made them to be.

Phil was the worst of the worst back then. He was well on his way to jail or an early grave. I knew that for him to change, it would take a miracle. I know The Blind embarrasses him a little because he doesn’t like to remember that part of his life. Would you want to watch a movie about all the rotten things you’ve ever done? But Phil also wants people to see his story, to see that no one is too far gone for God. 

When Phil made Jesus the Lord of his life, it was like night and day. He went from chasing his next high to chasing God’s truth. And it didn’t just change our day-to-day lives — it changed our entire future as a family, and it changed thousands of other lives too. Phil’s sister Jan told our pastor, “If you turn Phil toward Jesus, he’ll bring thousands along with him.” And that’s exactly what happened.

When it comes down to it, The Blind isn’t a movie about Phil or our family origins, not really. It’s a story about the grace God offers us and the power he has to transform the hearts of men and women. 

If you’re a woman who loves a man in need of a miracle, The Blind is for you. If you’re a man who loves a woman in need of a miracle, The Blind is for you too. All of us can be healed. All of us can be put back together again. It’s not too late.

The Blind is streaming now on Great American Pure Flix and available on digital, DVD, and Blu-ray. My prayer is that our story will help everyone see that hope, redemption, and restoration aren’t ever out of reach — not for any of us.

Miss Kay Robertson is the beloved backbone and funny bone of the Robertson family and star of the hit TV series “Duck Dynasty.” She married her pioneer man, Phil Robertson, and has four sons, one daughter, and more than 25 grandchildren and great-grandchildren. Kay is the New York Times best-selling author of several books and frequently appears on the “Duck Call Room” and “Unashamed” podcasts. She loves to cook for her family, feed her neighbors, and care for women in need.

The post It’s Not Too Late to Heal Your Brokenness first appeared on Live Original.

When we got engaged, we both took marriage seriously and invested in preparing, but marriage is an ongoing process. No matter how much we studied the map of marriage, we still had the journey ahead of us with so much to learn.

As we look back on the path we’ve walked so far, here are three things we wished we knew before we got married.

1) Mutually agreed-upon boundaries with family and friends.

In the early days of our marriage, Meg would sometimes go to her parents for comfort and guidance, instead of me. One thing that caught me off guard was the way I felt when Meg sought help or comfort from her parents before turning to me. It hit me in a way I hadn’t expected. It really hurt. I found myself questioning my role and importance in Meg’s life.

At first, I struggled with feelings of insecurity and inadequacy. I wondered if I was failing in some way as her partner if she felt the need to seek help elsewhere. But as I got deeper into understanding her perspective, I came to see that it wasn’t about me lacking something, but rather about her seeking comfort in a way that felt most natural to her.

Meg wasn’t intentionally sidelining me; she was merely navigating our new dynamic as a married couple while going to the support structures that had always been there for her– I mean, her parents raised her.

After a few conversations on how those relationships need to change (at least a little) as your spouse becomes a higher priority, I realized that Meg’s actions weren’t meant to exclude or devalue me. She was simply leaning on the familiar support system she had always turned to. It was a natural instinct for her, rooted in years of trust and familiarity.

Today, we aim to be intentional about:

1. Setting aside time to talk, bringing a welcoming heart for conversation

2. Creating mutually agreed boundaries that we follow in Christ’s love.

Though we made a plan, we’ve found that setting boundaries can be tough. But the struggle to become unified in Jesus is so worth it. Trust us, God sees your effort to honor Him and each other.

3. Our marriage can change the world.

Before we got married, we don’t think we really thought that much on how our marriage could change the world. Honestly, we wish we reflected more on how God had drawn us together, understanding we would be a part of a design way bigger than ourselves.

Whether you’re single or married, your life matters in showing who God is to others today. Now, He’s painted every aspect of your life and your spouse’s life – your surroundings, relatable memories, passions, differences, sense of humor – to draw you together toward Him and serve and love people around you (check out Acts 17:26-27).

Knowing this deeply ahead of time that our marriage will have power for its mission as we learned to listen and respond to the Holy Spirit would have allowed us both to quickly pursue God for a specific direction. We would’ve been more curiously early on on how He’d like us to impact the world in our little corner of life as newlyweds and every season after.

Today, we embrace the truth that our marriage is more than just two people making each other happy. We’re not perfect at it, but when we both sense the opportunity and call to represent God, we outwardly share it with others we encounter whether we’re on a walk in our neighborhood, the stairwell at the office, or our kids sporting events.

One new way we’re excited to be impacting other couples for Christ is in sharing more of our story in FamilyLife’s new Art of Marriage small group study. We get pretty open there about our day to day and also give others couples a way to easily impact those around them.

To build a marriage according to His design, we cannot ignore its potential to spiritually impact the world inside and outside our home for showing others who God is.

3) Conversations about our past can bring us together in incredible ways.

Engagement is a critical time to continue learning each other’s backstories. And if you’re dreading that sentence, we did too.

It was intimidating for us to share the depths of our pasts. But truthfully, we wish we knew early on, that on the other side of Christ centered conversation, was love and safety – for the both of us. We talk about this more in our book Preparing For Marriage, but we can say each time we’ve allowed God to lead us in peeling layers we may prefer to hide, the more we get to experience the masterpiece of closeness that God designed for us to have in marriage.

With a trail of almost two decades of marriage behind us, we have found it’s essential to approach these conversations with grace and understanding. We both work at this today in any tough conversation, committing to active listening to foster an atmosphere of empathy and Christ’s love (1 Corinthians 13:4-8), for better or worse.

Recognizing and addressing our past sins, hurts, and misconceptions about marriage lays a foundation for a healthy today and future together.

Here’s the thing

There’s honestly a good chunk of knowledge we wish we knew that isn’t general but more specific to each other and our marriage. We say that as encouragement – marriage is a journey not only with each other, but Jesus. There’s lots of learning ahead.

Truthfully we foresee a ton more learning to come for years ahead of our marriage – even after two decades. And even so, our marriage rests in the fact that if dependence on Jesus is the goal, every weakness of ours is an advantage. If you’re looking for a realistic plan for marriage, find an Art of Marriage small group near you. It’s a great place to join other couples pursuing the Lord with their togetherness, even in the middle of every weakness they carry.

Looking at the mural of marriage, we find God to be the ultimate artist, skillfully crafting each piece and detail of our journey together. As we navigate the intricacies of His ways, may we all continually lean on His divine craftsmanship, trusting in His guidance and wisdom to shape each of our marriages into a masterpiece of love, grace, and lasting significance.

David and Meg Robbins are passionate about helping people integrate faith and family and equipping them to make a difference in their local communities. David became the President of FamilyLife in 2017. The Robbins have served together in a variety of ministry roles through the years, working primarily with the rising generation in Western Europe, Atlanta, and New York City. David and Meg, married in 2001, currently live in Orlando, Florida, with their four children. They are contributors to FamilyLife’s new edition of the Art of Marriage™ study that is available nationwide. This new resource is designed to help couples explore new levels of intimacy, communication, and connection with their spouse.

The post 3 Things to Know Before Marriage first appeared on Live Original.

Well, you’re certainly not alone. I recently just moved out of my dream apartment and I am still in awe at it all…

In 2021, I moved to Nashville as an absolute leap of faith. I had one friend that I knew in this city and endless nudges from God whispering to just go… I remember quite literally saying, “well, what’s a year?! Let’s give it a shot. If I love it I’ll stay and if I don’t… California will always be there.”

I had no idea what exactly God would do with that whisper…

Blessings began to follow that little act of obedience– opportunities for work opened up, 1 studio in my dream apartment became available, and every little detail came together with an unmatched ease and joy. Now hear me out, that first year wasn’t necessarily perfect, but if one thing was clear, it was the fact that I was supposed to be in Nashville for longer than just one year. God had bigger and better plans.

–

It was a typical Sunday attending the Belonging Co. 9am service, where I sat with my good friends, Jay and Reagan. It was Reagan’s last Sunday at church before she moved back to North Carolina and we all had plans to grab a cup of coffee after church. What I thought was a “typical” Sunday was actually the beginning of a beautiful story that God had planned far beyond I was even born (Psalm 139:16). I think it’s safe to say that day I was standing in the middle of an answered prayer.

“Hi, my name is Jonathan.”

“My name is CC!”

On our way out of church we ran into Reagan’s friend, Jonathan Lutz. With excitement in her voice she said, “Omg, Jonathan meet CC and Jay… CC and Jay meet Jonathan! I’ve been wanting y’all to meet!!”

Between us girls, I thought that Jonathan was so cute– and after 2 weeks, the Lord’s beautiful story began to unravel even more. I felt called to sit alone at church that Sunday, to later find that Jonathan would coincidentally sit 2 seats down from me. After a small invitation to a post church hang and an exchange of numbers… we later went on our first walk, first date, and after 3 months of intentionally dating we became ~official~.

Fast forward 1 year later and we were ENGAGED with numerous God moments to tell our future kiddos on how God so beautifully wove his love, grace, and favor throughout our story. (Pst, I’m telling y’all there are SO many little details that point to the goodness of God, I feel like I can write an entire BOOK on it all!)

_

Friend, God can do it.

Oftentimes, it’s up to us to keep believing that He can (John 11:25-26). I’ll never forget a line Chad Veach shared on Whoa That’s Good, “When you’re walking in the will of God, Heaven is at your back.” There is so much truth in that statement that I have seen come into fruition in my own life. I think God DELIGHTS when we step out in faith into the unknown. Afterall, Faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen right?! (Hebrews 11:1-6)

When I said yes to God and moved to Nashville, of course I had the hopes of meeting my future husband, building a community and continuing to advance the kingdom of God. But, I’d be lying if I didn’t say that sometimes fear would try to creep into my mind and heart and tell me that these things weren’t possible for me…

I praise God that I can now stand on the other side of all those fears with a holy confidence that says, “If I’ve seen God do it once, I know He can do it again.” Which brings me back to the first line of this blog…

I moved out of a place that was once my dream apartment, only to step into a new dream apartment that I had always hoped for… only this time I get to walk into this season as a WIFE.

God is so so good.

Don’t stop believing.

CC is a wife, podcast host, social media strategist and writer. Her passion has always been to spread JOY and make heaven more crowded. A few of her favorite things are local coffee shops, yummy cookies, thai food, and any time spent with family and friends!

Keep up with CC on Instagram @ccalbonero!

The post Don’t Stop Believing first appeared on Live Original.

I waited for over 20 years for God to answer my prayer to bring my husband. When I got married at age 42, Phil was my first boyfriend and first kiss. That’s not because there weren’t guys interested, but rather because I believe God brings two people together for Kingdom purpose and I was determined not to settle. There are so many things I learned during that season, but the one I want to share with you today is about living a life of total surrender to God. We see that in the life of Jesus. He said:

“I have come down from heaven not to do my will but the will of him who sent me.” (John 6:38) 

“I do nothing on my own but speak just what the Father has taught me….I always do what pleases him.” (John 8:28-29)

“So then, my friends, because of God’s great mercy to us I appeal to you: Offer yourselves as a living sacrifice to God, dedicated to his service and pleasing to him. This is the true worship that you should offer.” (Romans 12:1 GNT)

I want to encourage you to live a life of total surrender, focused on serving and pleasing God. As followers of Christ, we build an “altar” in our hearts, and we are the sacrifice. It is not easy to do, especially in our culture today when there is immense pressure to build a platform and expand your influence. However, so many of the teachings of Jesus are counter to the ways of the world. His word instructs us to be a living sacrifice. Instead of being consumed with building a platform, we need to build altars. Not physical altars, but rather altars in our hearts where we offer all we are as a living sacrifice. 

The altar is the place we encounter God in a deeper way. I experienced that when I got to the point where I laid everything on the altar, including my desire to be married. I had been meditating on Psalm 24:1: “The earth is the Lord’s, and everything in it” (NLT). I reflected on the fact that everything I had came from God and ultimately was His. I decided to put all that I owned on the “altar.” He had blessed me with a beautiful home and had entrusted me with the things I had. So, if I honestly believed this, I reasoned, then I should have no issue with letting go of something if He chose to entrust it to someone else. After mulling this over for some time, I decided to put it to a test. I wanted to know if there was anything in my life that I was holding on to more than Him. 

About that time, three friends were each looking to get a place of their own. I wanted to bless them by giving them items from my home I thought they would like and find useful in their apartments. As I rummaged through my kitchen, I thought, “This is going to be so great. Instead of having a garage sale, I’m going to give away the things I no longer need. I’ll be getting rid of clutter, and they are getting things they can use in their new places.” But as soon as I heard myself say that, I slowly set down the never-used serving dish I was holding and looked at the amassed items. I suddenly realized I was going about this all wrong. I was picking items that I wanted to get rid of or had no issue giving away. And if I picked the items, then I was selecting what I felt comfortable releasing. That was not truly letting go of anything. I knew I needed a new approach.

I decided to invite my friends to come to my house. I shared why I had invited them over and explained how I had been reading in Scripture that everything comes from the Lord and belongs to Him. I was grateful He entrusted me with the things for a season and I believe He wanted to entrust them with the items. I told them “I would love for us to walk through each room in my house, and anything you see that you want, it’s yours to take.”

They initially looked at me like I had lost my mind, but it eventually began to set in. They began to see the home they had visited on other occasions through a new lens. Instead of it being “Grace’s home and things,” it was the Lord’s house and the Lord’s things—things that He wanted them to have and enjoy.

Each friend focused on different items as they walked through my home. One was starting a new job, so she cleaned out my closet and took a large duffel bag full of clothes and accessories. Another focused on kitchen items and took my KitchenAid mixer and an assortment of serving dishes, pots, and baking pans. The third friend focused on my home decor, including wall art, artificial plants, lamps, etc. I absolutely loved walking through the house and seeing their eyes light up as they saw something they wanted. I must admit, I had a slight moment of panic at one point when I realized my car keys were on the kitchen counter. If my car was taken, I wasn’t sure how I was going to get to work; however, I figured God would work something out.

Over the course of a two-week period, the walls in my home became bare. The house became darker without lamps. My cooking process had to be adjusted since I no longer had the use of certain tools, gadgets, and cookware. And it was a little challenging to mix and match outfits with the remaining clothes in my sparse closet. But none of that mattered because I was focused on something else. I wanted to live open-handed and totally surrendered. To know there wasn’t a “thing” I was holding on to more than God. I’m not saying it was easy. Especially since it was not the plan to go rush out and replace whatever they had taken. But through it all, I had found myself in a place where nothing was more important to me than whatever God wanted, and I was elated! Essentially, everything in my house had been placed on the “altar,” and I did not rush to take anything back. A huge part of the experience was learning to be content with what I had. I felt like I had moved a little closer to understanding what Paul wrote in Philippians 4:11 when he said, “I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances” (NIV).

I do not share this experience to suggest you invite people to walk through your home and take whatever they want. It’s not something I have done again! I share it to stir in our hearts a posture of surrender. To yield all that we are and all that we have to God. To not hold on to anything the Lord may want us to let go of. To present ourselves to Him as living sacrifices He can use for His purpose. To live a life where there is nothing that we want more than to be with the Lord and to please Him. Paul wrote in Philippians 2:21 that “everyone looks out for their own interests, not those of Jesus Christ” (NIV). I want to be someone who looks out for the interests of Jesus Christ. His interests always involve looking out for the interests of those He loves.

Some of you may be wondering what happened after this experience. Grace writes about that and many more things she learned in her new book FLOURISH: Finding Purpose in the Unknown and Unexpected Seasons of Life. She and her husband of five years live in Birmingham, Alabama and work with churches across the country.

The post When Heaven Seems Silent first appeared on Live Original.

The Bible often refers to the Church as the Bride of Christ (2 Corinthians 11:2, Ephesians 5:22-33). Our relationship with Jesus is like a marriage—but in a perfect way. He makes us beautiful, then admires us as we walk down the aisle toward Him on our wedding day (Revelation 19:6-9). Perfectly pure. Impeccably white. Kind of awesome.

So now comes that part about intimacy.

Let’s say, physically speaking, there are varying levels of intimacy. Those levels might begin with any sort of public display of affection and graduate all the way to the most intimate, behind-closed-doors, one-flesh moments meant to be shared only between a husband and wife. It’s really nobody’s business, and it’s deeply personal. A husband and wife are, indeed, one flesh. The intimate covenant they share, like Christ’s covenant with us, is sacred.

When it comes to our relationship with God, it can be the same way. There’s PDA and then there’s sacred intimacy. There are grand public gestures of skywriting and singing telegrams (praying on the street corner “to be seen by people,” as Matthew put it in 6:5). And then there is knowing the love language of God: taking time in secret to show Him the only affections you’re chasing after are His. Pursuing Him privately, closing the doors, enjoying sacred intimacy.

Any relationship that only goes as deep as public displays, or mere physical intimacy without an emotional bond and commitment, is not true intimacy. This is what Jesus warns the crowds about in Matthew 6:1, “Be careful not to practice your righteousness in front of others to be seen by them. Otherwise, you will have no reward with your Father in heaven.”

Jesus doesn’t want your love to be a spectacle. He wants it to be sacred.

In a marriage—in any relationship that lasts past the honeymoon phase—intimacy takes intentionality. Sometimes it takes scheduling regular dates on the calendar, even committing to block out distractions and making space for, ahem, intimacy on a regular basis. Intimacy can be enjoyed organically, only when it is supported intentionally. Jesus told us this: “But when you pray, go into your private room, shut your door, and pray to your Father who is in secret” (v. 6:6).

How are you pursuing intimacy as the Bride of Christ? Are you intentionally closing the doors, scheduling dates, and setting aside time in order for your relationship to deepen? Or are you publically kissing Him, then living as strangers at home?

Is your prayer life simply a spectacle, or is it spectacularly sacred?

The blog post is an excerpt from our upcoming Sermon on the Mount 4-week reading plan that begins Monday, September 4th at SheReadsTRuth.com and on the She Reads Truth app. Readers can also buy the book at ShopSheReadsTruth.com

The post Spectacle or Sacred first appeared on Live Original.

When disappointment is lived out in our lives, however, it becomes our nemesis and a paralyzer.

I’ll be honest and vulnerable with you for a second. So, for those who don’t know me, I’m Shelley. Hi! As a Texan, I consider myself friendly. It’s one of those pride-in-Texas things that we have. Being a big state obviously gives us clout, at least in our own minds. Even when clout isn’t deserved or earned, we still pride ourselves in our Lone Star State. One of the many distinctives of Texans is friendliness. We consider it a fruit of the Spirit – well, almost. For me, friendly means looking people in the eye. It means catching eyes with someone who is obviously not that interested in catching yours. It means speaking a word of greeting to all people, everywhere. When I first moved to Atlanta years ago, I expected the same thing from the “friendly South.” I didn’t yet realize that many people in Atlanta weren’t even Southern, and a lot of those and others were just busy and not so interested in a “Hello” from a girl they didn’t know. “Why,” I would ask my husband, “doesn’t everyone speak to one another here? Where are people headed in such a hurry? What’s up with the no eye contact?” His response, was usually something about giving them some space and that they are friendly, just maybe a bit overwhelmed by my outgoing spirit. Good one. My mind couldn’t comprehend. Who needs space?! Oh yea, did I mention I’m married to an introvert? According to old Myers-Briggs statistics, one in four people are introverted. Current sample data, however, suggests that the introvert number could be as high as 1 in 2. So, potentially, 1/2 of our population is categorized as introverts. Maybe that’s why many people don’t want us extroverted Texans saying “hey!” [I would just like to take this time to say I’m sorry to everyone in Atlanta over the past 22 years. In no way was I trying to interrupt your mental flow or step into a space I wasn’t invited into. I was just hoping we could meet eyes and give some meaning to this crazy mixed-up place we call home for now.] Anyway, I digress.

Surely there is a reason I am telling you this story. Um. Nope. Not really. If I had to guess why I told you this it would just be for you to know me a little more. Ah, back to disappointment. I met Louie in college. I had just finished my freshman year of university when he came strolling into my life. I literally saw him from across a large auditorium and in my heart kind of knew I would marry him. I know, CRAZY girl. There was something about him from the moment I laid eyes on him that was like a magnet to me. See, I wasn’t looking for “Mr. Right”. I had “Mr. Right Now.” I was dating people, busy enjoying life and definitely at 18, almost 19 years old, not ready to settle down. My mind couldn’t even comprehend that. I loved God. I had such a passion to know Him more. I wanted my life to so reflect His light and life and I was desperate to be a follower of Jesus for all of my days. I believe now, it was my contentment in God that led me to my future. I’ve heard people say it for years and it sounds so cliché when I hear it come out of my mouth, but until Jesus was enough for me, I wasn’t ready for the more.

I believe now, it was my contentment in God that led me to my future.

When my heart was steady and complete in Jesus, Louie appeared in my life. To hear him tell it, and you need to at some point, he was absolutely SURE that he was good without someone at the moment too. Anyway, God’s plans are way better than ours. So, we met, dated three years until I completed my degree, and married in 1986. That was 31 years ago this week. Cheers to that! That sounds like a happy story. What about disappointment? Well disappointment didn’t follow until I realized just days after we married that I had no idea how to successfully be a dedicated follower of Jesus, wife, partner in ministry, good daughter, loyal friend and so on. I was completely under-equipped and outmatched by the size of my life. It took me years of struggle to realize, that Jesus, who was enough when I met Louie, was also enough after I married him. Where did I go off the grid? I believe it was as soon as I expected something I wasn’t guaranteed; as soon as I placed my hope in marriage (or specifically Louie) and not in God.

One of the most freeing moments as I look back on my life, was the moment I realized I already had everything I needed before I had the life I wanted. See, I wasn’t owed anything. No one is guaranteed a happy little life of everything working out. No one said marriage would be the thing to make you happy. Joy was promised {Psalm 126:5-6} for sure, but I would soon be facedown before God, struggling to find my own satisfaction and purpose in something more than the label, “married.” The Scripture says it this way, “In Him we live and move and have our being” {Acts 17:28}. The implication is that without God we have no purpose. No meaning. No power to live victoriously. The best news is…WE ARE NOT WITHOUT GOD. We have Him. Therefore, we live full lives. We move freely around life knowing that He is ever present and always for us {Romans 8:31}.

We have meaning, purpose, heart and drive to live all the days that have been set out for us, with the hope that we are enough because He is enough in us.

We have meaning, purpose, heart and drive to live all the days that have been set out for us, with the hope that we are enough because He is enough in us. So, you know when my struggle became hope? When I recalculated and figured out that He is truly ALL that I need. That’s when marriage and every other label I carry became a joy and not a burden. I’m not sure what you’re thinking will bring you hope today. Maybe the last thing in your heart is marriage, but there is something that you believe if you could get in your life, you would be complete. As one slightly ahead of most of you, I’m telling you, if you know Jesus, you have ALL you need right now. Nothing is missing. You lack nothing {Psalm 23:1}. Being married to Louie is my greatest joy because I already have all I need in Jesus. Hopefully he receives joy as well from a satisfied wife who doesn’t put my expectation in him to be my everything. My everything is Jesus. He is the love of my life and my complete satisfaction. From that place, I love my husband. Live free today. He is with you. He is for you and He is truly enough. Recalculate.

The post Miscalculation first appeared on Live Original.

Long story short, Jacob completed his time, which ended in a feast where Laban would give Rachel to Jacob. We don’t know much about this party, but we do know there was an open bar and that the beer flowed like wine. How do we know this? Notice this next verse:

But when evening came, [Laban] gave his daughter Leah to Jacob. And Jacob made love to her. (v. 23)

How drunk do you have to be not to notice that the woman you are making love to is not the one you just got married to? Yikes.

Even though cultures have changed, thousands of years have passed, and things are done very differently now, the exact same thing could happen to you. You could think you’re marrying Rachel, but wake up one day and realize you are hitched to Leah. As time passes, and the fog of deception lifts, you might discover that what was on the outside wasn’t the same as what was hiding deep down on the inside.

I’m not here to tell you to kiss dating goodbye, I’m here to tell you if you don’t fight for honor and take the time to really know the person you are dating, you’re kissing the life Jesus died for you to have goodbye.

The easiest way to marry the wrong person is to rush. Why is it so tempting to rush things forward? Because infatuation is easily mistaken for love. When you are infatuated with someone, you lose your mind. It’s like that scene in Bambi when everyone gets twitter-pated. You get love drunk, and the effect is so powerful that it’s spellbinding.

Rushing to Vegas or the courthouse—or at the very least moving in together—seems like the right thing to do. These feelings are good things. They’re just not enough to build a life on. No one can sustain that high forever; it would kill you.

Instead, date each other long enough for the fireworks and chemistry to either dissipate or mature. To do that, you have to come to a place where you realize the person you’re dating isn’t perfect. Then you can either move on or choose to commit to loving who that person really is, not just who you see him or her to be through the steam coming off of the newness of the relationship.

In the infatuation phase, you can’t trust your feelings and you shouldn’t rely on the substitute of physical intimacy. So what do you do? You need to ask these kinds of questions:

What do the trusted, godly people in my life think of the relationship?

I’m not talking about your cousin who has been married three times or the girlfriend who sleeps with everything that moves. I’m talking about your pastor, your small group leader, or your parents, if they’re believers. What do they think of the relationship?

You might object, “But they’re all wrong. Everyone’s against us. It’s a conspiracy!” Let me be straight with you: If the people who love you are all saying the same thing, there’s a reason. Comments like “I don’t like the effect he’s having on you” or “She seems to be pulling you away from Christ” act as a blinking red light on the dashboard.

Where and when did you meet, and what do you truly have in common with each other?

If you say, “I don’t like the people I meet. They’re only interested in one thing” then maybe fish in a different pond and use a different bait. If you don’t like what you’re attracting, do something to attract something else. The club is a great place to meet someone to hook up with. I think God’s house is a great place to meet a man or woman of God.

Is your relationship before marriage honoring God?

Are you taking something from each other that actually belongs to your future husband or wife?

I can hear you now. “Gotcha, Levi! Yes, we’re sleeping together; yes, we’re living together. But we are going to get married. And once we do, it means what I took was actually already mine. I was just getting it early. Inception!”

To the contrary, you are actually teaching your significant other during your single years whether or not you honor God’s standards and boundaries. If you can’t be faithful before marriage, why should they think you will be faithful in marriage?

Marrying the wrong person isn’t even the biggest problem; being the wrong person is. Because when you’re not becoming the person God’s called you to be, you will attract and look for the type of people who are wrong for you.

So here’s a new game plan. Instead of focusing and fixating on finding “the right one,” channel your energy into being “the right one”. As Matthew wrote, “Seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things shall be added to you” (Matthew 6:33).

A verse from Genesis was instrumental in Jennie and my’s relationship: Jacob’s dad Isaac was in the fields in the evening. And he lifted his eyes, and there was Rebecca.

Isaac wasn’t out there playing the field; he was harvesting the field. I don’t know of a better way to meet your wife or husband. Jesus said that the laborers are few but the fields are ripe for harvest (Luke 10:2). That should occupy your time in your single years. Give it all you’ve got! If you simply focus on fulfilling the Great Commission—a mission to go fishin’ for souls—I believe that one day you will lift your eyes and see a fellow fisherman or woman who is as passionate about the field as you are, and it will make sense to fish together. Do what God has called you to do. Run in that lane. Then one day you’ll lift up your eyes, and there they’ll be.

Excerpted with permission from Swipe Right by Levi Lusko, copyright Levi Lusko.

The post Don’t Play the Field first appeared on Live Original.

You always hear those stories of bad things happening to other people, but NEVER EVER think it will happen to you. I get it. That was me a few months ago.

I had just gotten married to the love of my life, David Hodges, and moved to Birmingham Alabama. I had never moved before, like ever. I lived in the same house my whole life. So, it was already an adjustment and very hard for me to move away from my family because my family is everything to me. We are all truly best friends. Only 4 short months into marriage, I found out my dad was having an affair.

“WHAT?!…” I could have sworn I was dreaming. “There’s no way this is true.” “No, like you don’t understand… I know that’s not true… my dad would NEVER do that.”

My family was always that welcoming home to all our friends. When my friends had difficult home lives or their parents were going through a divorce, or something bad was going on, my parents were always the ones taking them in, praying for them, and helping them. No matter how hard life got, my family and my parents were the one thing that never wavered. They were my safe place.

I was equally close to both my parents, but in different ways. My mom is my biggest encourager and best friend. My dad and I also had a special bond. We are like twins. Everyone always told me I was the girl vision of my dad. Not only did we look alike but our personalities are VERY similar as well. We had common interests and always bonded over athletics. I was my daddy’s girl. He calls me “Smash,” a nickname he gave me when I was a little girl. My dad was my hero, my spiritual leader (for 20 years until I got married), my best friend, my coach, my boss (I worked for him at his Chick-fil-A growing up), and the only man in my life that NEVER broke my trust growing up.

As you can imagine, I was completely heart broken. But it also brought a lot of problems in my marriage.  Imagine this – the father you trusted your life with for 20 years breaks your trust in the worst way possible. How the heck was I supposed to now trust David? A man I’ve only known for a little over a year.

Thankfully, David and I got great counseling, and I learned that he is not my dad and that David has never given me a reason not to trust him. But here’s the thing, my Dad’s choices didn’t just bring consequences into his life…. he brought very hard realities into all of our lives.

I will say this –  my mom, my siblings and I are praying for a miraculous intervention from the Lord. And my dad really seems to be pursuing Jesus and His healing now, which I am thankful for… but it will be a long road with no guarantees.

I know that there are some of you reading my story who have gone through or are currently going through life-shattering pain.  My heart breaks for you. I know what you’re facing every day. Some days, you feel like you’re going to die because the weight of the pain feels unbearable. That’s why I’m writing this post. I want to share how I am dealing with and surviving the pain in hopes that it helps you too.

I know your heart is so heavy, and it’s a constant fight just to keep it together, but I PROMISE you’re going to be okay. You’re so much stronger than you think you are. How am I so certain? Because if you weren’t going to be okay God would never allow you to go through this without His help.

When I am in such a low place that taking just one more step is impossible, all I can do is sit in silence. Sit in silence trusting and remembering that the same God that moves mountains and speaks stars into existence, is the same God that calls me his beloved daughter. He’s putting breath in my lungs and holding my hand every step of the way. I say these words in my head over and over again, “My God has never forgotten about me nor forsaken me, and I know he’s not going to start now.” “My God is so big, so strong and so mighty. There’s NOTHING my god cannot do for you.”

When we have no more strength, we must rely on God and His strength to handle it on our behalf – and he delights in this. Now, I don’t believe God brings pain and chaos in our world, but I do think He allows it for multiple reasons.

One of the reasons being to bring him glory and shame Satan back to Hell where he belongs.

In the book of Job from the Bible, it talks about how Satan was roaming the earth, looking for someone He could test to see if they would turn from God if bad things happened (Job 1-2). God asked Satan if He had considered (testing) Job. But wait, why would God suggest that Satan test Job – one of his faithful servants? Is it because God was mad at Job or wanted him to hurt? No, absolutely not.

God suggested Job because He trusted Job. He trusted Job to stay strong through whatever trial Satan might throw his way, knowing Job would never blame God or give up on Him. God gives his toughest battles to his strongest warriors. In a way, it’s an honor to be trusted with pain because it says a lot about what God sees in you and what He wants to bring out of you. I have to remind myself that suffering is not an obstacle to be used by God, it’s an opportunity to be used by God like never before.

Where there is impossible pain, God always offers incredible power.

Where there is impossible pain, God always offers incredible power. But we must stay close to Him and trust Him. I’ve always heard about the super natural strength God gives people, but I have never experienced it like I am now. Maybe it’s because I never got to a point in my life where the pain was too much. Too much to handle on my own, so I just handled it on my own rather than tapping into the incredible strength God had for me.

I get it now. I now know how powerful this kind of “God strength” is. It’s in me and working through me. And it’s a gift I would not trade.

So, am I okay? No, not really. But I will be! I have a God who has given me so much supernatural strength and peace, it would blow your mind. No, I don’t like this storm that I am navigating and no, I don’t like what has happened to my siblings, my mom and I. But I know Jesus is with us and that brings me so much peace.

I know we are not alone and God is in control. This helps take the burden off trying to figure out how fix this on my own. Instead of trying to figure it all out, I am committed to fixing my eyes on the One who cares and loves me unconditionally.

“So, we don’t look at the troubles we can see now; rather, we fix our gaze on things that cannot be seen. For the things, we see now will soon be gone, but the things we cannot see will last forever,” 2 Corinthians 4:18.

Here are the three things I must do every day to fix my eyes on the Lord:

1. Get in His word.

God will speak to us so tenderly, powerfully and perfectly through His written word. I especially love the book of Psalms in this season.

2. Worship often.

Turn on your favorite praise music (really loud) and get lost in praising God for who He is and who you are because of Him. I am determined to walk through this trial with praises, mixed with my tears, so that others can experience Jesus through me. My tears will turn into a victory for the cause of Christ.

(Here is a link to the playlist my sister, Hope Houser, made for us to listen to in this season.)

3. Look beyond.

Look beyond your pain, current circumstances and what you’re feeling right now. Find comfort in God’s truths, knowing that He uses all things for good – that there’s a purpose for your pain. In adversity, you have the opportunity to shine Christ’s light brighter and louder than ever before. The darker it gets, the brighter His light shines. The more impossible it gets, the more it becomes evident that the only answer is Jesus.

If you are going through a hard time, this is my prayer for you: I pray God gives you grace to suffer well. I pray He surrounds you with a community of love and support. I pray he gives you strength to do more than “just make it” through this season, but to shine so bright through it. I pray God increases your influence like never before. I pray that He daily gives you the faith to not stare at what’s in front of you, but to see what God sees. His view goes beyond the temporary. His view is eternal.

“I’ll be with you. I won’t give up on you; I won’t leave you. Strength! Courage! You are going to lead this people to inherit the land that I promised to give their ancestors. Give it everything you have, heart and soul…Then you’ll get where you’re going; then you’ll succeed. Haven’t I commanded you? Strength! Courage! Don’t be timid; don’t get discouraged. God, your God, is with you every step you take.” Joshua 1:5-9

God loves you and so do I.

Ashley Hodges

The post When Good Goes Bad by Ashley TerKeurst Hodges first appeared on Live Original.

“DON’T TRY TO FIND THE ONE, WORK ON YOURSELF TO BECOME THE ONE.”

Here’s the truth of the matter, if you go to the scriptures, you’ll be hard pressed to find the concept of “the one”. But what will be obvious and much more frequent is all the admonitions for us to walk in the light and truth. In short, the Bible’s message to us on this issue is clear – don’t try to find the one, work on yourself to become the one. Because how we live today, and what we believe today, will certainly affect our tomorrow.

And there’s a couple main reasons I think looking for “the one” can actually be a damaging or hurtful concept.

1. It will crush the other person. When we say there is “the one” out there for us a lot of us subtly believe that means there is one person who will make our lives easier. Someone who will take away our pain, that will meet my insufficiency. Newsflash, that person has already showed up and his name is Jesus (except for the making our lives easier part. He doesn’t promise that). Here’s what happens when we believe there is this one person out there for us –  that picture and ideal actually starts to completely crush the person we are dating and married to. They feel like they are struggling under a weight of expectation that they simply can’t bear, and frankly, they weren’t meant to.
2. It tempts you to quit the relationship sooner. I’ve seen this one happen in marriage a lot. Someone will get divorced and say something along the lines of, “Well they just weren’t the one for me. I finally found that person in my second spouse.” It subtly allows us to think that the pursuit of the one can allow us to live in ways that we wouldn’t normally do. It justifies our decisions and makes us slaves to our feelings and emotions, not the covenant we made with that person at the altar.
3. It turns your focus from you to them. Like I mentioned in the beginning, the temptation when you are pursuing the one is to look for the person who will make your life easier and not expose all your junk. But instead, we are called to deal with our junk right now in Jesus and by His grace, so we don’t unhealthily bring it into our next relationship. Working on being the one instead of trying to find the one makes a world of difference.

I’ll end with one last thing, and this is usually true of most issues in scripture – there are exceptions or tensions throughout. At the end of the day, I do think God knows who you will marry. And there are folks who would be better than others. But the way Alyssa and I like to say it is, we could’ve married anyone. We could’ve made it work with anyone. Now is that unromantic? Sure, if you’re idea of romances comes from Disney instead of the Bible. But it’s true. Why? Because marriage is primarily held together by the covenant and the promise, not the feelings or concepts of “the one.” But I also still technically say Alyssa, as my wife, is “the one.” How do I know? Because her name is on the marriage certificate. She’s the one I promised my life to and that makes her the one.

PS: if there was only ‘one’ person out there for everyone, then think about what would happen if one person thousands of years ago messed up and married the wrong person. If they didn’t marry their “one” person. That alone would cause a ripple and mess it up for everyone all the way down the line, because the person they married was someone else’s one and so on and so on.

So, don’t go looking for the one, try to become the one. And when that happens, and you start resting in God’s grace and understanding what the covenant of promise means, you can make it work with anyone and tell the divine drama of God and man through the lens of your relationship, and that’s good news.

This post was inspired by Jeff & Alyssa’s new book Love That Lasts. A gritty, raw, and powerful telling of their relationship story and how they found God’s better way for love, dating, marriage, and sexuality. You can get it here.

The post There Is No Such Thing as the One first appeared on Live Original.