Thinking back on my past heartbreak experiences, through different seasons of life, I can confidently say that is the truth! The Lord has allowed me to walk through hard relationships, meet people who I thought was, “the one” and get my heart broken time after time. I was the girl growing up that said, “the first person I date, I want to be the one I marry!” Butttt…the Lord had other plans. Several failed relationships later, I am here, overwhelmingly thankful that was not the case.

I am now the girl that “loves” breakups. Sounds crazy, trust me, I know! But hear me out. The greatest lessons I have learned about my personal relationship with the Father was taught through times of heartbreak. The seasons where I experienced the most growth, refinement, and change, were seasons after that failed relationship with “the one.” The times when I have seen my closest friends flourish were the times after she finally broke up with the guy our friend group knew was not good for her. I love breakups.

“The Lord is near to the brokenhearted and saves the crushed in spirit (Psalm 34:18).” This verse has often been used to comfort me during times of heartache. However, after I read the quote mentioned earlier, this verse has a whole new meaning.

Perhaps the Lord is near to the brokenhearted because He first allowed us to experience human failure of love to better understand His.

Perhaps the Lord is near to the brokenhearted because we must first be broken to be made new in Him.

Perhaps the Lord is near to the brokenhearted because His heart breaks with us.

Perhaps the Lord is near to the brokenhearted because He is refining our character, our definition of love, and our purpose to better align with His word.

This time last year, I went through a hard breakup. It is wild to be at a place where I can talk about it as part of my testimony and share the beautiful lessons the Lord allowed me to learn through that time. Total transparency though, this is not easy. This relationship was everything from “That’s the Way I Loved You” to “All too Well” (Swifities, you know the references) Over the years of us together, the Lord made it more and more clear that we were not for each other, so we broke up.

At the beginning of 2023, I would have never put on my “resolutions” list for me to go through yet another failed relationship. I thought 2023 was going to be the year I got married, graduated, and settled down. That is what I dreamt for myself.

However, as we know the Lord has plans of His own and man, am I thankful for that!

Instead of those things happening, the Lord took a situation that was destined for heartache, depression, and failure – and completely flipped my world upside down to be the best year of my life. Just to give you a glimpse…I went through heartbreak, got the opportunity to be an LO ambassador (wooohooo!!!), went to Thailand, called into missions, moved out of my childhood home into “the cottage” with my best friends, changed my major from Public Relations to a missions degree, and so much more.

When I say I am thankful that it is His plan and not my own, I mean it!

I share this with you only to say, none of that would have been possible without the first thing on that list; “heartbreak.”

It was not the relationship itself keeping me from experiencing these things, it was my lack of keeping my priorities in line to truly see what all the Lord had in store for me. The opportunities were there all along, I just needed to fix my heart, mind, and soul on Him to see them. I was too focused on the relationship I was in and not my relationship with the Father, everything was clouded and blurred. I was letting a human relationship that was inevitably going to fail me, define love for me and was not relying on God’s perfect, unfailing love.

It is evident when it is not from God. I mean how confusing would it be if God gave us peace about every relationship we got into? When we finally meet the one He has set apart for us, it will all make sense. We will have an undeniable peace that this is the one that will be an addition to my walk with the Lord. We will see how that person is better for us and for the greater good of His kingdom. It will be peace upon peace, no convincing necessary.

But sometimes, unfortunately, it takes going through the first thing on that list, to truly know it when we see it. Because of heartbreak, I better know the character and love of God.

I have seen human love fail me, and that is ok! It is part of it. But because of His word, His love letter written from His heart to ours, we know His love will never fail us.

Psalm 73:26,” My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever.”

So, friend, this Valentine’s season, whether you are single, dating, heartbroken, engaged, or miss independent – I hope you can look back on the heartache and be thankful. Be thankful that the Lord allowed you to experience human failure so that you could better know His love for you. Be thankful it took a few failed relationships so that you could better recognize true love when it came into your life. Be thankful you have learned to guard your heart. Be thankful that you have gone through tough times so that way you can better relate and help others. Be thankful that each time you have gotten your heartbroken, the Lord has used that to redefine your definition of love to align with what it says in His word.

Because of heartache, we better know His love.

So, when I say I love breakups, it is because I have seen the Lord turn it around for good, time and time again!

Hey hey LO fam! My name is Raylee Evans and it is a joy to be here with you! I am a Senior Public Relations major at Lee University, which happens to be right in my hometown, Cleveland, TN! I am the second oldest of six in my family, which makes life so fun – never a dull moment! You can either find me on the pickleball courts, drinking coffee, or planning a last-minute trip. I currently work at Ever After Bridal as a bridal consultant, give campus tours at Lee to upcoming students, and I also have a little photography business on the side as well. I am a multi-passionate gal with a lotta dreams, 27 to be exact! My biggest prayer is that whatever dream I am pursing, that I am spreading His love, His joy, and His truth with everyone I come into contact with. Again, it is a joy to be here so thanks for being apart of one of those 27 dreams!

The post I Love Breakups! first appeared on Live Original.

I vividly remember sitting at the counter of my college house reading and journaling when I had this thought, or rather God planted this thought in my mind. 

I was so tired of feeling sorry for myself for not being in a relationship. I knew that a relationship wouldn’t fill me, but I was acting like I was depleted and deprived because I wasn’t in a relationship. My beliefs were not lining up with my actions. God so lovingly showed me my inconsistencies. I was wasting my thoughts by being overwhelmed with desire for a relationship, so much so it decreased my quality of life. I decided to change my thoughts. I wanted to live everyday like it was my last day of being single. I was going to enjoy it even if somedays I had to force myself to see it as good. One day I would hopefully be in a relationship that would turn into marriage and I would never be single again. I wanted to make myself proud of the way I lived in it and didn’t want to waste what the Lord had me in. If you really stop and think about each day, we have no idea what it holds. It could be the day that changes your life. But instead of waiting on the day that changes everything, I want to live my life freely and confidently not waiting on a day to come. 

As I looked to the positives of singleness, contentment grew within me. I learned how to spend time with Jesus. Not just read my Bible, pray a little, and move on, but ACTUALLY spend time with him and enjoy it! I looked forward to being in His presence every day. I received all the security, acceptance, and love I needed from Him. My heart was slowly aware that the things I desperately wanted, I had in Jesus all along.

As I became more content with my season, the Lord gave me more peace in my heart about the unknowns of my future. He removed the way I idolized a future husband and provided me with deep satisfaction in Him. 

The day I started dating my now husband, I had peace leaving my season of singleness. I knew I had been obedient in learning all the Lord wanted me to grow in. 

I am grateful for my season of singleness because it taught me to be content in every season.

It created a heart posture within me to be satisfied in the Lord rather than my circumstances. Rushing from one season to the next is harmful. It steals the lessons of love, satisfaction, and being fully present with the Lord that He wanted to teach me. 

Being fulfilled by the Lord’s presence then produced satisfaction in the season I’m in now. 

Being single is wonderful, dating is wonderful, engagement and marriage are wonderful! But if you ignore contentment in singleness you will be dissatisfied in dating. You’ll want engagement, and in engagement you’ll want marriage. In marriage you’ll want kids, then you’ll want to be empty nesters. It’s an endless cycle of always wanting the next thing. 

It’s a trap that we can so easily fall into if we do not posture our hearts to be content in our current season.

It can be dangerous to view singleness as a season of waiting because of what it does to our hearts when we label it that way. Waiting can imply that your life is missing something and you are looking to that thing hopeful it will fill whatever is missing in your life. “I’m waiting for God to move in my life.” “I’m waiting for Him to give me an answer on what He wants me to do.” “I’m waiting on Him to give me a boyfriend.” When we “wait” on God to act, move, or provide and it doesn’t happen on our timeline, we view it as a punishment. In reality, we were never actually waiting on God, we were wanting God to move when we say so. 

Sure, you might feel like you are waiting for a boyfriend. But what are you wanting a boyfriend to fix in you? Fix in your life? If you never had a boyfriend, never got married, would you be content with your relationship with the Lord to fill you? 

Instead of waiting on God to give you a boyfriend, be with God in your singleness. There’s so much more at stake than your desire for a relationship. The Lord is forming in you contentment, satisfaction, and a sole desire for His presence to fill. I believe these lessons are best taught in singleness and that’s why the enemy wants us to rush out of it. If we never learn how to be content and satisfied in the Lord we will always look to something or someone else to fill us. This is why singleness is so valuable! You cannot learn that only God can fill you until he is all you have to fill you.

There will be a last day of singleness for you. So, make yourself proud of the way you lived it out! 

Focus your purpose in singleness to be closer to God, to soak in his presence, and learn how to be satisfied where he has placed you.

I promise that when you allow your heart to be satisfied in Jesus, you will lack nothing. The longing for a husband won’t change, but you will be content in where the Lord has you. Your heart’s ability to be content now will cultivate a heart of contentment for every season to come.

So, to my friend that is single today, wondering when and if her husband will ever come into her life: focus on your heart posture. Learn to be satisfied with God in your singleness, its so much more important than having a boyfriend.

Freddie is a recent grad from Auburn University with her masters in clinical mental health counseling and is on staff with LO as a counselor. She loves long walks, spending time with friends and family, and helping people find their confidence in who God made them to be!

Follow Freddie on Instagram: @yourfriend_Freddie 

The post A Content Heart Starts in Singleness first appeared on Live Original.

“DON’T TRY TO FIND THE ONE, WORK ON YOURSELF TO BECOME THE ONE.”

Here’s the truth of the matter, if you go to the scriptures, you’ll be hard pressed to find the concept of “the one”. But what will be obvious and much more frequent is all the admonitions for us to walk in the light and truth. In short, the Bible’s message to us on this issue is clear – don’t try to find the one, work on yourself to become the one. Because how we live today, and what we believe today, will certainly affect our tomorrow.

And there’s a couple main reasons I think looking for “the one” can actually be a damaging or hurtful concept.

1. It will crush the other person. When we say there is “the one” out there for us a lot of us subtly believe that means there is one person who will make our lives easier. Someone who will take away our pain, that will meet my insufficiency. Newsflash, that person has already showed up and his name is Jesus (except for the making our lives easier part. He doesn’t promise that). Here’s what happens when we believe there is this one person out there for us –  that picture and ideal actually starts to completely crush the person we are dating and married to. They feel like they are struggling under a weight of expectation that they simply can’t bear, and frankly, they weren’t meant to.
2. It tempts you to quit the relationship sooner. I’ve seen this one happen in marriage a lot. Someone will get divorced and say something along the lines of, “Well they just weren’t the one for me. I finally found that person in my second spouse.” It subtly allows us to think that the pursuit of the one can allow us to live in ways that we wouldn’t normally do. It justifies our decisions and makes us slaves to our feelings and emotions, not the covenant we made with that person at the altar.
3. It turns your focus from you to them. Like I mentioned in the beginning, the temptation when you are pursuing the one is to look for the person who will make your life easier and not expose all your junk. But instead, we are called to deal with our junk right now in Jesus and by His grace, so we don’t unhealthily bring it into our next relationship. Working on being the one instead of trying to find the one makes a world of difference.

I’ll end with one last thing, and this is usually true of most issues in scripture – there are exceptions or tensions throughout. At the end of the day, I do think God knows who you will marry. And there are folks who would be better than others. But the way Alyssa and I like to say it is, we could’ve married anyone. We could’ve made it work with anyone. Now is that unromantic? Sure, if you’re idea of romances comes from Disney instead of the Bible. But it’s true. Why? Because marriage is primarily held together by the covenant and the promise, not the feelings or concepts of “the one.” But I also still technically say Alyssa, as my wife, is “the one.” How do I know? Because her name is on the marriage certificate. She’s the one I promised my life to and that makes her the one.

PS: if there was only ‘one’ person out there for everyone, then think about what would happen if one person thousands of years ago messed up and married the wrong person. If they didn’t marry their “one” person. That alone would cause a ripple and mess it up for everyone all the way down the line, because the person they married was someone else’s one and so on and so on.

So, don’t go looking for the one, try to become the one. And when that happens, and you start resting in God’s grace and understanding what the covenant of promise means, you can make it work with anyone and tell the divine drama of God and man through the lens of your relationship, and that’s good news.

This post was inspired by Jeff & Alyssa’s new book Love That Lasts. A gritty, raw, and powerful telling of their relationship story and how they found God’s better way for love, dating, marriage, and sexuality. You can get it here.

The post There Is No Such Thing as the One first appeared on Live Original.