I once took my oldest son to see his favorite basketball player, Giannis Antetokounmpo, play against the Orlando Magic. We had general admission tickets and stood outside in a long line for quite some time waiting to go through security. When we finally made it inside the arena, we bought two bags of popcorn and two bottles of water for about $230 (slight exaggeration), then made our way to the middle stands to settle into our hard seats. Other patrons had to step over us to get to their seats, so we were regularly faced with strangers’ backsides or bellies as they scooted down the row.

It was a very different world when my husband and I were invited to sit courtside at an Oklahoma City Thunder game. First, we were offered special VIP parking in a garage right next to the arena. Then instead of waiting in line, we walked up to a special VIP entrance where our things were quickly passed through an X-ray machine. After the twenty seconds that took, security escorted us to a private lounge where a James Beard Award–winning chef had prepared the meal for the evening. Drinks of all types were free and plentiful, and when it was time for the game, security escorted us to our plush seats. When the game ended, we were escorted to a private exit, where we climbed into our car and left without fighting traffic.

When I was on the Oklahoma City Thunder’s VIP list, I experienced a number of amazing perks because of the price that was paid for my ticket. But as amazing as those perks were, they don’t begin to compare to the perks of being on God’s VIP list. Unlike any VIP list created by a human being, God’s VIP list is not based on wealth or celebrity. It is simply based on the condition of your heart.

After the prophet Samuel asked Jesse to have his sons pass before him, the first son he saw was the eldest, Eliab. When Samuel looked at Eliab’s outward appearance, he was convinced that Eliab was God’s next chosen king of Israel (1 Samuel 16:6). He was undoubtedly attractive and probably even had some of the features that made King Saul stand out (1 Samuel 9:2). He looked royal, but he was far from it. God told Samuel in 1 Samuel 16:7, “Do not consider his appearance or his height, for I have rejected him. The LORD does not look at the things people look at. People look at the outward appearance, but the LORD looks at the heart.”

Even though Eliab was pleasing to Samuel’s eye and his name was on Samuel’s VIP list, it was David who was pleasing to God’s heart and had his name on God’s VIP list. God chose David because he was the fulfillment of 1 Samuel 13:14: he was a man after God’s own heart. God didn’t choose David because man had chosen him. God chose David to prove that God’s opinion is the only one that matters.

After Samuel had met seven of Jesse’s sons, the Bible says in 1 Samuel 16:10–11,

“The LORD has not chosen these.” So [Samuel] asked Jesse, “Are these all the sons you have?”

“There is still the youngest,” Jesse answered. “He is tending the sheep.”

Samuel said, “Send for him; we will not sit down until he arrives.”

I imagine this moment was pregnant with frustration as Jesse and his sons were forced to stand and wait for someone they had not even invited to the sacrifice.

So he sent for him and had him brought in. He was glowing with health and had a fine appearance and handsome features.

Then the LORD said, “Rise and anoint him; this is the one.” (1 Samuel 16:12)

Samuel was impressed by David’s physical appearance, but it wasn’t his physical appearance that qualified him in the eyes of God. God saw what Samuel couldn’t see.

So Samuel took the horn of oil and anointed him in the presence of his brothers, and from that day on the Spirit of the LORD came powerfully upon David. (1 Samuel 16:13)

Pay close attention to something. The Bible says Samuel anointed David in the presence of his brothers. Samuel anointed David in the presence of the people who had left him out in a field tending sheep by himself while their father invited them to have an audience with God’s prophet. Everything God does is purposeful, and when I consider this scene, I believe the reason why God had Samuel anoint David in the presence of the people who had rejected him was because God wanted to teach David and his family an important truth.

No matter who overlooks you, abandons you, or leaves you in a field by yourself tending sheep, when God is for you, no one can oppose you. When God is for you, the people who rejected you will have to watch him promote you. When God is for you, the favor of God will make your enemies your audience.

The manager who denied your promotion, only to have their boss promote you anyway because of your impressive record of impact.

The guy who broke up with you over text and now has to watch you walk down the aisle with his college friend who asked you to marry him.

The teacher who told you that you would never be anything but then showed up to your book signing and asked you to sign their copy.

That last one happened to me. I couldn’t help but thank God that he has the final say in my life. And he has the final say in your life too!

Many people love to quote Psalm 23 to remind themselves that God is faithful in trials and tribulations. Pay special attention to verse 5, which says, “You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies.” When you learn to see rejection as a gift, you will realize that the people who rejected you are simply the audience for whom God is preparing the table of your purpose. Instead of lamenting who rejected you, praise God for what he is preparing because of them!

What God created you to do is not dependent on the acceptance of other people.

While people can reject you, no one can reject your purpose. Your purpose is never hindered by someone who walks away from you. Your purpose is never hindered by a situation that didn’t work out for you. Instead of blocking your future, the gift of rejection simply reveals the end of some people’s roles in your destiny.

The post God’s VIP List first appeared on Live Original.

The post Attending to the Healing Within first appeared on Live Original.

Out of all the titles you may have—mother, wife, entrepreneur, pastor, teacher—the most important title you’ll ever wear is that of daughter. And based on our unique lives, that title holds different weight for each of us. You may have lived under the shame of being an unknown daughter. Or perhaps you basked in the spoiled protection of being the only daughter in a family full of boys. In both scenarios the fact remains that you are a daughter.

We’re all daughters of the King with the permission to reign. This permission comes without the need to perform. Performing is for clowns anyway. You don’t have to perform for God! All you have to do is receive Him as Abba Father.

Research has shown that the father-daughter relationship holds immense significance. And not just through the early years—it matters throughout every phase of development including our adulthood. Whether with our biological father or someone else in that role, we benefit from being seen, cared for, and loved as daughters. There is a wholeness that comes when our position as a daughter is acknowledged and those needs are met. Studies have reported that young women who experience healthy relationships with their fathers are less likely to become clinically depressed or anxious. Additional benefits include increased confidence, enhanced communication skills, balanced perspectives, and emotional security. If these are the natural results, imagine the outcomes of being in a healthy relationship with Abba!

I hear you saying, “But Dr. Jackie, what if I didn’t have the father I so desperately wanted?” I see you, sis. Let me share this next story with you.

I met a woman, Michelle, who struggled to keep healthy romantic relationships. When she was a young girl, her father often promised to visit or send her things. Each time she found herself sitting and waiting for him to come through on his word. And when he did, it was never as elaborate or complete as he promised. Michelle began to believe that she wasn’t worthy of a man’s full, intentional attention.

As she and I began to talk, we discussed what it would look like to have a man of his word in her life, romantically or otherwise. She couldn’t imagine it. I could see how this was obstructing her ability to build a deeper relationship with Christ. Our next few meetings were focused on turning her attention away from her father and onto the Father. I challenged her to exchange her abandonment and rejection issues with her earthly father for love and truth from her Heavenly Father.

I want to share the same truth with you. The Word of God cannot return to Him void! If He spoke a word over your life, you can believe it’s gonna happen just as He said it would. He’s not a man that He should lie, nor the son of man that He should have to repent (Num. 23:19). You can be sure that He will do it just as He said He would! He’s going to come through for you.

I will be a Father to you, and you will be my sons and daughters, says the Lord Almighty.

2 Corinthians 6:18 (NIV)

The Lord said to me, “You have seen correctly, for I am watching to see that my word is fulfilled.”

Jeremiah 1:12 (NIV)

 Today I encourage you to accept your permission to walk like a daughter of the Most High King. What does that look like for you? Maybe your head is held a little higher. Maybe you stand a bit taller. Or better yet, maybe your stride is a little surer.

Prayer Prompt: Lord, I receive what You’ve spoken over my life. Show me how to take You at Your Word…

The post Remain in His Love first appeared on Live Original.

Oftentimes when you want to be something or do something, you have a role model or mentor. Someone who has already become a so-called “expert” in the subject you are trying to master. You watch this person closely and hang onto their every word in hopes to find some bit of the map to your desired destination. Piece by piece, word by word, story by story you’re closer to unveiling how to accomplish this ambition. Your mind begins to expand and your heart smiles as this goal of yours is slowly becoming a reality.

Our first thought for someone who is an “expert” on strength is probably someone with immense physical strength. Like Goliath in 1 Samuel 17, a man of enormous size and physical capabilities. His physical strength was so monstrous that he terrified an entire army and kept them from battle. Yes, an entire army. And if I’m honest, this will never be my kind of strength. I am 5’7. Paralyzing an army from my sheer physical strength and stature is not in the cards for me.

The kind of strength I desire is not this physical strength demonstrated by Goliath or what we typically think of described in the first definition of strong: “having the power to move heavy weights or perform other physically demanding tasks.”^[1]

The kind of strength I desire is that of David in the Goliath story. He exemplified the second more encompassing and true definition of strength that I believe is far more valuable than just the physical, to be “able to withstand great force or pressure.” ^[2]

When every soldier in the entire army trembled in fear at Goliath’s physical strength, David revealed what it means to be truly strong. He had every pressure to back down from battle but he withstood.

Fully aware that he was just a shepherd and not a soldier, David begged to go into battle against Goliath.

Fully aware that Goliath was a GIANT, David begged to go into battle against Goliath.

Fully aware of the warnings of fellow soldiers that he was not capable of winning, David begged to go into battle against Goliath.

When I read this story, I couldn’t help but wonder how David was able to withstand. How could David be so strong when everything in this world points to just giving in?

It actually took me flying 23 hours across the country, passing out in freezing weather, and climbing the tallest free standing mountain in the world to figure this one out. So I pray and hope this streamlines your process a bit.

The 23 hour flight was to Tanzania. Tanzania is home to a 19,341 foot Goliath of a mountain called Mount Kilimanjaro. I had the incredible opportunity to hike this mountain this summer to raise awareness and funds for Compassion International, an organization committed to freeing children from poverty in Jesus’s name. And that mountain is home to the freezing weather I mentioned a bit ago. For 6 days, this mountain was my home as well.

We ate on this mountain, talked on this mountain, laughed on this mountain, slept on this mountain, and yes…. went to the bathroom on this mountain. But more importantly, we hiked on this mountain.. for hours and hours. The first four days were honestly bliss. All my months of training for this trek had paid off. On the fourth night you wake up at midnight to climb the remaining 4000 feet to the top of the mountain. You eat breakfast in the pitch black with only stars and the moon illuminating the sky and begin your summit to the top.

Staring up at the stars, in the 9 degree weather, I looked up to the heavens and told God “this is one of the best days of my life”. I danced for the next 2-3 hours as I walked step by step up the mountain until something funny happened. I began to feel lightheaded. And then I would pass out. As I am climbing up rocks and in the snow, I begin to pass out for 1-2 seconds at a time and catch myself just before I hit the ground with my handy hiking poles.

Long story short, I did this for the next 2 hours of the hike. All my months of training never prepared me for this moment. My physical strength was gone. My mental strength diminished every time I passed out. I was not strong like David. The very real pressures of this circumstance were weighing on me like I had never experienced weight before and I was entirely too weak to withstand.

I started to pray and ask the Lord for strength because I no longer had it. I was absolutely desperate. And in my desperation, the Lord reminded me of the lyrics of the first song I ever sang in Church “I am weak but thou art strong”.

Step by step. I hiked this mountain for 6 more hours singing this song to myself.

“I am weak but thou art strong.”

And step by step. The Lord gave me strength. Strength to withstand the pressures and summit Mount Kilimanjaro.

I realize that this is how David did it. This is how David withstood the pressures and entered battle. This is how David slayed Goliath. This is how David was made strong.

By first recognizing He is weak but thou art strong.

He didn’t have the strength, but He walked with a God that did.

As I have been home I’ve faced days where the pressure feels like it’s coming from every side. And instead of trying to find the courage, I just simply surrender to God and say “I am weak, but thou art strong.” I put God back on the throne of my heart, I make Him the source of my strength, and humble myself that I am not strong.

And then I walk with the one that is. Just like David did. The song I sang on the mountain is actually a hymn called “just a closer walk with Thee”. How beautiful? I don’t have to muster up the strength, I simply need to walk closer to thee.

You don’t have to muster up the strength. Simply surrender. Say “God I am weak, but thou art strong.” And then walk with the one that is.

Remember how earlier I mentioned finding an expert, role model, or mentor? Jesus is that. He is my expert, role model, and mentor. He walked this earth and exemplified to us perfectly how to walk with thee. How to be strong amidst the pressures of this world. And He is so much more. He is the source of this very strength and life I desire.

I’ve learned that if I want to walk with thee, I need to study the one that did so perfectly. And you know what’s beautiful? As I study and read about Jesus’s life, pray, and surrender this crazy thing happens:

Piece by piece, word by word, story by story I’m becoming stronger although I am weak. My mind is expanding and my heart is smiling. Perhaps even doing a dance. And this goal of being strong, through Jesus has become a reality.

“I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.” Philippians 4:13

And through Christ, it can be your reality too.

Maia Mae Huff is passionate about spreading love, truth, and light to all people. Whether that be through phone calls with a friend, her In This Together podcast, speaking, or any way that God leads.

Keep up with Maia Mae Huff on Instagram @maiamaehuff

The post I Am Weak, but Thou’ Art Strong first appeared on Live Original.

Think of this idea as a painting. We may spend hours staring at a painting, constantly looking it over and still, we are unable to grasp the painter’s intention. We might even wonder why on earth someone would paint something like that. Now, let’s say we are staring at a painting and the original painter is right beside us. We might be able to see their vision for the painting while getting to hear the purpose behind it— their desire for their design. Now isn’t it true that it’s far easier to know someone’s desire for their design when they are close to us? A close friend will know your heart behind a tough decision, over someone who watches your life from the internet. Someone who has seen you at your worst will be able to fully celebrate you at your best, over someone who hasn’t seen how hard you’ve fought. Moms have a sixth sense when it comes to knowing what their babies need because of how close their bond is. So what if as Christians, as we spend time with God who is the one true designer, we might start to understand the beauty of His desire a little better? And if the designer is God, then you my dear friend, are a product of his ultimate desire.

We may never know why things take the shapes they do, or why people in certain circles have it harder than others. One does not tell the mountains how they should look, nor does someone tell the ocean how to behave. So we may never know the purpose in the details of our design. However, I will say that the more we spend time with our designer, the more our desires will eventually come into alignment with his design. We don’t have to be the designer, but our desire can grow for what God has designed. In the Old Testament, the prophet Isaiah said,

“Yes, Lord, walking in the ways of your laws, we wait for you; your name and renown are the desire of our hearts. My soul yearns for you in the night; in the morning my spirit longs for you…” (Isaiah 26:8-9).

One of the ways our desire grows is by walking in close proximity with God. There were times when the Israelites walked close to God and they followed his laws, they obeyed his commands and they were walking in his presence daily. God had a desire to be near to them and they had a desire to be near to Him. Then there were other times when the Israelites waited on God. They waited for him to come through, they waited for his promises, they waited for him to tell them which ways to go and yet they did this in close proximity to God. Now like any journey with God, there are times when we fall off. We tend to go our own way and we often think that what we know is better than what God knows. But at the end of the day, our heart’s desire is for God. When we go off on our own, there is still something inside of us that’s searching for meaning greater than ourselves. Therefore, God’s design is supposed to be our greatest desire.

The more we get to know our Creator, the more we get to see how truly beautiful His design for His creation is. When we sit with him in the mornings, we are met with his presence before anything else has a chance to sway our desires. When we pray to God for answers before turning to other people, we give him the space to share with us his design. When we are questioning life and the path that we must take, the very one who designed our path is waiting to tell us where to go. Again, we don’t have to understand God’s design, but the more time you spend with him, the more you will understand his desire. And spoiler alert, you are God’s ultimate design and the product of his greatest desire.

If he is the designer and you are his masterpiece then he sees underneath the mess, underneath the smudges, behind the layers and into the depths of the darkest paint in your life. He painted it! He designed you, He formed you in the secret place and He loved you completely before you ever achieved a single thing! Now your life might feel bleak, hopeless, worn out, tired and stuck, but there’s a designer who’s in the business of making his design into something beautiful. Friends, the more time you spend with your designer, I pray the more you will experience the desire he has for you. And my goodness is it ever beautiful.

So may his design, become your greatest desire.

The post God’s Design Over My Desire first appeared on Live Original.

Let’s be honest for a sec. How are you feeling about this online world? This culture we’ve created with all of these dings and pings and endless scrolls? Do your thumbs hurt? How about your heart? Are we having any fun yet?

For most of us, the answer to navigating a digital existence comes in the form of balance, moderation, a catchy meme. We spout off cheerful sentiments, encouraging ourselves and everyone around us to take a digital detox and embrace our authentic being, the one that exists beyond filters and followers. We hide our phones in drawers. We preach the importance of fostering real, deep connections beyond the online realm. We say we are more than our internet personas; we are complex, wonderfully flawed beings with stories that can’t be contained in a grid.

And then we hop back online to upload a selfie into a 1,080-pixel square.

(Ask me how I know.)

Once upon a time, my livelihood relied on maintaining a social media presence. As an influencer, I was successfully running a six-figure platform by writing and photographing multimedia campaigns for Target, Martha Stewart, Pinterest, and hundreds of other brands you know, use, and love. I taught digital workshops in a boutique studio in Singapore, modeled a slow fashion campaign in the Taj Mahal, and twirled pasta with Maria Shriver and Hoda on The Today Show. But with every post uploaded, captioned, andshared, a niggling feeling would creep into my consciousness: Is this healthy for us? Is social media good for our souls?

Consuming the rotten fruit of manipulative social media algorithms (it’s called Apple, after all) left me feeling much like a drinker might describe a morning hangover: frenzied, anxious, foggy, directionless. My patience for the real world—unwieldy and unpredictable and raw—wore thin. I didn’t want raw; I wanted perfect. I’d trained myself to desire only filtered and fun and free, and in moments where life felt like anything but, I found myself reaching for my phone under the table, in the car, in the drawer—just like grabbing a flask to take the edge off.

Throughout bouts of reflection, I’d spend my time teetering between the desire to give up social media altogether and a running justification for the hours I spent curating, cropping, and perfecting an online persona. Technology isn’t evil! I found myself saying. It’s just a tool! Think of all of the positive opportunities for connection and knowledge and joy it brings!

But then, a gentle nudge: Daughter, do you not think the enemy can use tools?

My wise pastor often notes that the enemy doesn’t want us to worship him. He wants us to worship ourselves. He wants us to be so distracted and frenzied and busy that we try to “fit” prayer into a quick pre-meal ritual. He wants us to be so prideful and confident in our accomplishments and feeds that we forget our need for a Savior. He wants our minds to be so knowledgeable and fact-filled and Siri-educated that there’s little space left for wisdom. And he wants our lives to be so comfortable and tidy and picturesque that we fail to remember an important truth: happiness isn’t a fruit of the spirit, but self-control is.

As I slowly began to look at social media through that lens, I found clarity. Building a platform on social media isn’t a sin. But building an idol is. And I wonder: every time we snap another selfie, caption another moment, or curate another highlight reel (#blessed), are we flattening this abundant life we’ve been given into the reels of a TikTok page? Are we plastering God’s handiwork under the @handle of our own name? Are we worshiping our own lives, or—perhaps worse—hopping on to Instagram to worship someone else’s?

Once I began to look at it that way, it was hard not to picture the enemy crouching at my door, gaining footholds with every “like.”

So I walked away. One platform at a time, I stopped using the accounts I’d built; ones that, in total, reached over one million people. You might wince at that number, and there was a time I might have, too. Think of the collective impact! The influence for good! The money and opportunities you’re losing!

But I know firsthand of the far greater fruits gained. In the absence of sharing, cropping, and publishing every living moment, I find that I am no longer preoccupied with becoming the author of my life. After all, that gig belongs to a far better content creator than I: God.

Want to begin your own personal journey to tech sobriety? Start by deleting all apps from your smartphone. Turn on parental controls (you can find out how here!). Try changing your phone background and wallpaper to a black screen instead of that cute beach scene from last summer. Notice what happens when you take away personalization from your device. How does your device feel when it becomes a phone, not your phone? Reflect, then revolutionize.

And remember: you’re not alone. If you’re feeling the burden of heavy tech usage, you’re in good company. There’s a better way to live, and girl, someday, I’ll tell you all about it over an iced coffee we won’t have to ‘gram first.

Deal?

Founder of global tech-free movement The Opt-Out Family, Erin Loechner is a former social media influencer who walked away from a million fans to live a low-tech lifestyle—and is now teaching others how to do the same. Her cutting-edge work has been praised in the New York Times, the Washington Post, the Wall Street Journal, and the Huffington Post, as well as on the Today Show. When she’s not scrawling on her trusty steno pad, Erin, her husband, and their three kids spend their days chasing alpenglow, reading Kipling, and biking to town for more tortillas.

The post Why (and How) I Got Social Media Sober first appeared on Live Original.

I have quite a few things in my past I’m not proud of. I made choices that caused me and others a lot of pain and heartbreak, and I made mistakes I sometimes wish I could undo.

You’re not reading a blog by a gal who has done it all right. In fact, you’re reading a blog by a gal whose past should disqualify her from writing about God at all.

For years after, I lived in shame.

I felt like if anyone knew my mistakes, they would write me off. When I compared my past to others’, I felt like mine was so much worse. And when I slipped back into old habits, I beat myself up for days.

If you’ve ever felt this way, you’re not alone. In all the hiding, and sometimes self-hatred, it’s easy to start believing that God couldn’t redeem any of it. Then it becomes even easier to believe that where you are right now is a direct result of what you’ve done.

But while shame threatens to steal your past, it does not get the final say in your story.

Romans 8:1 reminds us what is true: “Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus”

In Christ, you are free from having to hide in shame.

In Christ, you are also free from God’s judgment.

He took on our sins—past, present, and future—so we can have a relationship with God that never ends (Romans 5). We don’t have to be afraid of God; we get to be close to him.

While we can know in our heads that this is what the Bible says, it feels more challenging to believe in our hearts that it’s true. So if we find ourselves stuck in shame or believing we have to earn the blessings we long for, where do we go from here?

We turn to what’s true. We open our Bibles and find out what God says about the lies we believe. I’ve found three simple steps to do this:

1. Acknowledge what is a lie. If it contradicts God’s Word, it’s not true. Sometimes we need a friend to remind us of this, so send the text or make the phone call, and ask someone you trust if you’re believing a lie.

2. Replace the lie with what the Bible says is true. (And there’s no shame in Googling to find a verse if you don’t know where to start looking.)

3. Repeat the truth until it feels real. Which sometimes feels crazy, but eventually it sticks. And then the next time the lie creeps back in, the truth more quickly comes to mind.

If you start there, I think you’ll find when the enemy whispers in your ear that this is all your fault or you’ve missed it or it’s too late, you can tell him and yourself the truth:

God’s goodness does not change based on your decisions.

He is sovereign (Proverbs 16:9; Colossians 1:17).

He loves to redeem His people’s pasts and mistakes (Ephesians 1:7-9).

It’s the crazy, doesn’t make sense, upside-down grace of an empty grave that turns the most broken things into beautiful ones. I’m in awe that the most messed-up parts of our stories can actually be used to give God even an ounce of glory.

No matter how bad, shocking, or gross your past or current sin seems, God loves you too much to leave you feeling shame. When you surrender your life to Jesus, there is no more room for shame (Romans 8:28). It does not belong, and you can live free.

He provides a way out for every mistake and every intentional wrong if we confess and repent of our sin (1 John 1:8-9).

When we run to Jesus and put our faith in him, he provides a place for us. A place where we are no longer the guilty ones but the righteous ones because of his righteousness. A place where we are safe from the consequences of sin and death.

Friend, this is the best news. Regardless of your past mistakes, Jesus offers a refuge. He has prepared a place (John 14:1-3). There is no wrong you have done that cannot be forgiven. He is safe. All you have to do is run to him. He is closer than you think.

If we were sitting across the table from each other at a coffee shop, I’d tell you all about my college years: all the things I thought I’d never be able to say out loud, much less say without feeling ashamed. I’d recall how many times I thought I had messed up too much for God to love me.

Then I’d tell you about the small ways Jesus pursued my heart until he eventually got louder than I could ignore. I’d pull out my first journal with the pink flowers on it, the one that is tearstained and well-worn. I’d show you how he radically changed my life between my junior and senior years of college.

I might get a little teary as I reflect on all he has done to rescue me from myself, and how he continues to rescue me now, even years later. And then I’d look you in the eye and say, “He can do the same for you.”

God takes messed up people and accomplishes his purposes through them anyway.

So here is my challenge as we end this: Say the thing you are afraid to say out loud. To God, to a friend, or to a counselor. Say it aloud because that’s not who you are anymore.

When you live like you’ve been redeemed, living in the light and inviting others to do the same gets a whole lot easier. The enemy knows you’re dangerous to him if you’re no longer in the dark. And you, my friend, were made to bring light.

Meghan Ryan Asbury is an author and speaker who is passionate about helping people find and live out their God-given callings. She’s worked in ministry both on college campuses and internationally as well as with Proverbs 31 Ministries. Her first book, You Are Not Behind: Building a Life You Love Without Having Everything You Want, releases in September 2024. When she’s not surrounded by friends, you can usually find her reading a book or doing something outdoors. A Florida beach girl born and raised, she and her husband currently live in Nashville, Tennessee. You can connect with her on Instagram @meghanryanasbury and at alwaysmeghan.com.

The post You Don’t Have to Hide in Shame first appeared on Live Original.

We had a blast shopping our way through the Big Apple. But one evening we found ourselves smack-dab in the middle of a very crowded Times Square. We were quickly engulfed by a crowd of protesters, street entertainers, tourists, people selling watches and purses, and a host of interesting characters. The intensity of the scene made my protective instincts kick in. “Stay close,” I said as I took my daughters by their hands and led them through the intimidating crowd. People were shouting slogans and selling their wares, and we were overwhelmed by the chaos around us. It would have been so easy for us to get separated, and I was not about to let go of my girls in the middle of that madness. As long as they stayed close to me, they could block out all the yelling, stay safe, and keep heading in the right direction.

That moment in the crowds of that big city sometimes feels like a metaphor for my spiritual life. It seems as if we are constantly being pulled in different directions by the shouts of our broken world and by our own sinful nature attempting to lead us astray. And when we lose touch with our heavenly Father, we can lose sight of who we are and be fooled into adopting an identity that the world wants to assign us, one far from the true identity given to us by a loving Creator:

Your challenges in school can make you feel like your name is Stupid.

A dysfunctional family situation can make you feel like your name is Unwanted.

The mistakes you’ve made can make you believe your name is Failure.

A spouse walks out, and you are left believing your name is Worthless.

I heard a preacher say once that we spend too much time playing “dress up” and putting on identities of the world rather than leaning into who God made us to be. It reminds me of a Henri Nouwen quote I came across: “Spiritual identity means we are not what we do or what people say about us. And we are not what we have. We are the beloved daughters and sons of God.”

My role as a dad has helped me better understand the importance of staying close to my heavenly Father for direction, for assurance, for identity.

Like all those people shouting in Times Square, if we follow the leads and the voices of other people instead of God’s, we soon lose the true story of who we are in Him. Satan knows that if he can get you and me to believe a lie about who we are, we’ll never be able to step fully and freely into the plan that God has for us.

The Bible tells us the truth of our God-given identity: “See what great love the Father has lavished on us, that we should be called children of God! And that is what we are!” (1 John 3:1). A relationship with Christ also means your identity is found in Him no matter where you have been or what you have done. The God of the universe is only interested in the identity that He has given you.

We are God’s handiwork, His craftsmanship. The psalmist reminds us that we were known by our Creator while we were still in the womb (Psalm 139:13). We are known by God! He knows us better than we know our- selves. It makes sense for us to look to Him when searching for our identity and place in this world. Just like my daughters needed to stay close to me in the middle of that noisy, wild New York City crowd, we must always stay close to our heavenly Father. If we focus on walking hand in hand with Him and hear His voice over the messages of this world, we will hear Him calling us by our true name—the only name that matters.

Remember that the journey to discover your true identity begins by staying close to your heavenly Father. Today, remind yourself that you are who God says you are, and you are living a story that gives Him all the glory.

CONNECT TO HIS STORY Read the following passage and consider how it applies to your life:

EPHESIANS 1:3–10 “Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, who has blessed us in the heavenly realms with every spiritual blessing in Christ. For He chose us in Him before the creation of the world to be holy and blameless in his sight. In love, He predestined us for adoption to sonship through Jesus Christ, in accordance with His pleasure and will—to the praise of His glorious grace, which He has freely given us in the One He loves. In Him we have redemption through His blood, the forgiveness of sins, in accordance with the riches of God’s grace that He lavished on us. With all wisdom and understanding, He made known to us the mystery of His will according to his good pleasure, which He purposed in Christ, to be put into effect when the times reach their fulfillment—to bring unity to all things in heaven and on earth under Christ.”

Think about the words Paul uses in this passage to describe our relationship with Christ.

What is your identity as a believer according to this passage?

What are the riches of God’s grace in your life? How can you share that with others?

CRAFT YOUR STORY

Spend a few moments today writing about your identity. How do you define yourself? How would you describe yourself to others? Now write about how God sees you. What is your identity in Him? Think about how you need to adjust your view of your identity to coincide with your true identity in Christ.

SHARE YOUR STORY

Reach out to someone you know and encourage them that they are a son or daughter of God—that they can find their identity not in the things the world says but in Christ. Everyone is facing a battle for their identity, and today God could use you to be a much-needed reminder for someone else that they are a beloved child of God.

LIVE YOUR STORY

Spend some time researching what the Bible says about your identity in Christ. Pick out two or three verses to memorize and keep close to your heart in times when you are tempted to let the world define you.

The post My Identity, Your Glory first appeared on Live Original.

A toxic thought is a lie against your core identity, against God’s identity, and/or against the identity of others.1 It stems from a violation of love and trust and/or from pain we have suffered. We put our faith in a person, and something they do or say (or fail to do or say) blindsides us and causes emotional injury. The experience leads us to believe something untrue, and when we accept the untruth, it enforces a toxic thought.

Pain we experience can come from anyone or any circumstance. Anyone that we allow to speak into our lives can trigger us to believe toxic thoughts. When we respond by jumping to conclusions about who we are, who God is, and who others are, based on what we see or hear, we are creating belief systems that may or may not be accurate.

The pain can hit the worst when we see it as being caused by those we should be able to trust the most or whom we put the most trust in—the ones we should be able to feel safe with. Often, those we perceive as having let us down have titles such as God, parent, grandparent, teacher, best friend, coach, boyfriend, or spouse. These are the ones who are supposed to be for us, to be on our side. They are not supposed to harm us but help us. In our hurting world, though, hurt people hurt people, no matter what title they hold. Our toxic thoughts stem from a violation of love or trust—including the times we feel like we have failed ourselves.

Toxic thoughts can end up feeling much more like truth than the actual truth. Because we live in a fallen world, our perception of reality is faulty. We can be quick to believe our experiences and what others say (or what we think they are implying), especially if we don’t know to believe something different.

How do we know if we have toxic thoughts? And how were they formed in the first place?

Each human who has walked on this earth has most likely experienced one or many toxic thoughts. They are not merely emotions. They are instead the beliefs that can trigger many of the negative emotions we feel. Our primary emotions are happiness, sadness, disgust, fear, surprise, and anger. When we feel sadness, fear, anxiety, loneliness, confusion, emptiness, longing, etc., we will often find toxic thoughts underneath them.

Consider this example of how toxic thoughts come about: each time you get an email from your boss, your heart drops. Although you’ve been a teacher at the same school for the last five years, and in all that time you’ve only received one negative email, that one email still haunts you. It was that moment, three years ago, when a parent-teacher conference went horribly wrong. The parent lashed out at you, and you responded with unkindness. The principal (your boss) sent you a strongly worded email the next day, and you had a rough meeting with her. Since that incident, you’ve received nothing but kind emails or normal updates from your boss, just like it had been before that conflict.

But your heart rate still increases every time you see your boss’s name in your inbox. You start to overcompensate and stay later at work, and you say yes to all the extra things she asks you to do.

The reason you are feeling anxious in this scenario is that the initial email led to a toxic thought about your identity that now gets triggered every time you see the boss’s name.

The toxic thought it triggers is I’m not good enough or I’m a failure. Your brain rushes to the thought, Oh no, they’re going to tell me I did something wrong again.

In order to start changing this pathway, you have to identify what you are feeling. You have to acknowledge, Wow, when I get an email from my boss, it triggers the toxic thought, “I’m not good enough.”

That’s a very strong belief to hold. The toxic thoughts we believe about ourselves, others, and God might start with a seed of doubt, but they can quickly grow into the biggest tree, with roots that overrun our thoughts, beliefs, and lives because our experience points to the toxic thoughts as truth.

But Jesus came to save us. He is the Savior of our world, and He knew His identity. He heard His Father’s voice, and He knew the mission He was called to on this earth. Jesus knew that each of us would be born cursed to sin. That we would feel the pain and shame and lack of knowing our true identity. That we would search our whole lives trying to find who we really are. That we would look for love and meaning in unsatisfying and harmful places.

When we choose to believe toxic thoughts about ourselves, it keeps us from discovering the identity that we are destined to have. We continually substitute lies for the truth of God, and we let those toxic thoughts run rampant.

The good news is that the toxic thoughts we believe are, in fact, lies. They aren’t true, and they don’t need to remain as part of our identity. The next time you feel anxious or sad, try tracing back what caused you to have the reaction you did, and what toxic thought you might be believing underneath it.

1. Terry Hargrave and Franz Pfitzer, Restoration Therapy: Understanding and Guiding Healing in Marriage and Family Therapy (New York: Routledge, 2011).

Adapted from Wholehearted Love: Overcome the Barriers That Hold You Back in Your Relationship with God and Others—and Delight in Feeling Safe, Seen, and Loved by Stefanie and Caleb Rouse, releasing in April 2024.

The post Truth or Toxic Thoughts? first appeared on Live Original.

I can’t help but think about my daughter. I never want her to doubt her identity or her value, but because she’s human, I know she’ll ask that question throughout her life. My prayer now is not that she would never ask the question, but that she will always know Who to ask.

A Little Pro Tip

No matter who you are, how you see yourself, or where you’ve come from, there’s about a 99.99% chance you’ve asked this question before. Make no mistake, this is a loaded question. Some of us ask ourselves, some of us ask the people around us, some of us ask people we don’t even know on social media and, in desperate times, some of us do all the above.

The question “Who am I?” doesn’t always sound like those three little words. It comes in all kinds of packages: thoughts, thought patterns, feelings of doubt, and often anxiety. “Who am I?” often looks like comparing gifts, talents, abilities, looks, calling, or story. It can mean comparing your family, how you were raised, or even your perspective of yourself to that of someone else. Whether we realize it or not, we ask the question “Who am I?” many times throughout our lives and in many different seasons. Some of us, when we might be walking through an especially difficult season, even ask ourselves this question multiple times each day. As a culture and a people, I believe we’re crying out for the answer to this question more than we ever have before.

So, you might be thinking, I ask myself this all the time. I want to begin our journey together by reminding you that asking questions, even this one, is not bad! But asking this question to the wrong person could be detrimental.

I used to believe discovering who we are was something we figured out when we were young, but I realized with every new season, I was rediscovering who I am again and again. Throughout my life, I’ve watched others far beyond me in years some cases, never truly know who they are at all. As women, we go through many seasons that cause us to re-ask the question “Who am I?” Not to mention the pressure of social media and its access to people and women across the world, which has made count- less women feel less valuable, less original, less worthy, and less captivating.

This three-word question can quickly feel over- whelming and all-consuming when we don’t have an answer. In some seasons, many of us become so crippled by the lack of an answer that it completely transforms the way we think, feel, and act.

One of the most life-changing moments for me came from asking God this question at 22 years old. I was living out a dream of being a professional backup dancer, traveling the world, experiencing different places, and making memories. But this dream wasn’t as perfect as I imagined it would be. I was incredibly confused and lacked peace, not to mention I was also in a relationship that was causing that confusion. Throughout that season of life and through a relationship that lasted four years, you could definitely say I was asking the right question to the wrong person. And, because I was asking the right question to the wrong person, I remained confused and anxious.

So, I want to give you a little pro-tip, straight from my hard-won reality to your heart! Whether you’re 15, 55, or 95 and reading this right now, you will never discover who you truly are by asking more questions about who you are.

Discovering your true identity, your God-given DNA, and your personality — what makes you and shakes you — will only happen by discovering more about the One who made you. Whether you’re reading this and believing in God or doubting every part of Him, I can promise you that He is the way to the contentment and peace with yourself that you’re searching for.

Our Truest Self and Deepest Purpose

At 22 years old, I decided I was done living in the in-between. I wanted to live in the fullness that Jesus came to give me and died to lavish upon me, so I ended the relationship, quit my dream job, moved to a new city, made new friends, and began believing for God’s very best for my life. To that point in my life, those were the hardest decisions I had ever made, but now I can tell you that they led to the best seasons of my life.

Completely starting over caused me to ask the question, “God, who am I?” At least this time, I was asking the right person! I had held on so tightly to the things I was doing and the people I was doing them with that, without them, I truly didn’t know who I was.

One day, as I sat in my apartment in Nashville, God reminded me of a video my mom had sent me months earlier. In the video, I was about three years old, standing in the playroom of my home. I grabbed the karaoke mic and said with great confidence, “I love Jesus.” In that moment, God was gently reminding me that the most important title I would ever have is simply being “His,” a daughter.

What does a three-year-old have to offer? What important thing can a three-year-old achieve? Not much. And that was the point. He didn’t want me to achieve anything, be anything, or do anything for Him. He didn’t care how much Scripture I had memorized, how many followers I had on social media, how many people approved or disapproved of the relationship I was in, or how successful I was by my or anyone else’s standards. God just wanted me to know whose I was — I was His. And when we know we are His, we discover our truest self and our deepest purpose.

Now, let me be clear — I’m not asking you to quit your job, move to a new town, or completely start your life over. But I do want to ask if there’s something, anything, holding you back from being who you truly are. I know that can be a bit of an overwhelming question, so it’s okay if you don’t know right now…

Although my story involved moving and starting over in many areas of life, I can tell you that it wasn’t all about those external changes. The physical changes were a tangible result of letting go and letting Jesus show me who He is and who I am because of Him.

You’re In A Beautiful Place

Maybe you’re in a new season of life, and you feel like you’re back at the starting line. Maybe you just moved to college, or maybe your kids just left the house and you’re rediscovering life as an empty nester. Maybe you just got married or maybe you’re pregnant, and your body is changing like crazy. Maybe you’re a grandma now, or maybe life threw you a curveball you didn’t see coming, and you don’t even know what to call the season you’re in. If I could put my hand over your forehead right now, the way my dad always would, and speak peace over your mind and rest over your heart, that’s exactly what I would do.

The truth is, though you may not feel like it now, you’re in a beautiful place. You’ve got a really good Friend ready to walk with you, ready to work with you, ready to show you who He is and who you are because of Him. Whether it’s for the first time or whether it’s for the hundredth time, it’s never a bad idea to ask your Father, to ask Jesus, to remind you who you are.

Taken from Daughter: Becoming Who You Already Are by Laney Rene

Laney Rene is a wife, mom, and founder of The One He Loves, a ministry which exists so every woman can be refreshed, encouraged, and reminded of Jesus’ loving-kindness toward them. She’s the author of the new book, Daughter: Becoming Who You Already Are. Laney is known for sharing the goodness of Jesus in a way that is not just inviting but also captivating. After walking through a painful season and into a redemption story only Jesus could come up with, Laney couldn’t keep the good news to herself. Today, as a worship artist, author, and speaker, Laney continues to find creative ways to share the heart of Jesus with everyone she can!

The post Who Am I? first appeared on Live Original.